Snakes and Ladders

Sunday afternoon, was a day when I had nothing to do. The house was a mess as it was getting painted, hence the favourite pastime of watching Sooryavansham on SET Max (if not anything else) was not available. And freshly painted walls of whichever colour aren’t exactly interesting.

My six year old decided not to sleep and hence I ended up playing Snakes and Ladders with him. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. It is divine to play with a child. It completely de–stressed me. The pain of the monster at office, the worry of making ends meet at the end of the month, the stress of my growing paunch, receding hairline, greying hair, concern about where my son will study fifteen years from now, anxiety about whether I will have enough money to fund his education, his marriage and my retirement, the fear of ill health striking any member of the family, everything vanished for those fifteen minutes.

The hunger to get a six to start off, getting an accurate number to get the ladder, avoiding the snake, the joy at getting the ladder, the disappointment at getting a snake and the joy at finishing first were infectious. It brought back the child in me and I was extremely happy.  I should do this more often, I thought. After the game, as I was putting my son to sleep, I pondered over the game. And what it taught me.

First of all, it is a brilliant game. One rarely finishes the game, without encountering a snake and falling down. To me playing this game with the child, teaches him / her how to deal with failure. As a matter of fact, it might be interesting to observe the child’s reaction to a snake. In today’s competitive world, where success is measured by marks and the rank in class, we prepare children for success. But we don’t prepare them for failure. They need to be taught to be resilient to failure or to play on after stepping on a snake.

The first time your child gets a snake, they will be unhappy, because it will push them behind in the game. I know of parents, who will cheat and ask the kid to throw the dice again, so that he / she does not encounter the snake. Some will deliberately miscount and ensure that the kid ends up either before or after the snake. This is a huge disservice we do to the child. We have to teach the kid the rules of the game, to play by the rules even if the outcome is not in their favour. As a parent we have to ignore the child’s tantrum and cajole him / her into playing till the game is over. Most importantly we should not allow the child to quit because he / she is losing.

If anybody remembers the game, there is a snake at 99 which brings you down to 7. I think that snake is a great tool to teach the kid never to give up. Obviously you can’t give this gospel to the six year kid, but you need to inculcate fair behaviour, letting him / her lose sometimes and demonstrating that all is not lost even if someone is miles ahead. We are actually inculcating life skills in the kid.

The more I think of it, I marvel at the genius of the creator of the game. I am equally amazed at the similarity it has with one’s career. We get ladders of education, promotion, job changes in the early stages of the career and rise fast. We dodge snakes. Sometimes we step on some which are like bad bosses, tough projects, bad jobs which make you feel you are pushed back. Sometimes life is boring when we get ones and twos and we simply try to avoid that snake which will push us down further, and try to catch the ladder.

The faster we rise, the chance of stepping on a snake goes up. The chance of climbing a ladder is minimal.  That to me is the simple truth and a Eureka moment.

In the first ten to fifteen years of my career, I am used to scaling ladders. Post that ladders don’t exist. Am I ready for another for the next fifteen years of my career to be boring without scaling ladders? And that’s where a lot of us make decisions. Decision to quit the job, get into consulting or into entrepreneurship. Or we get bitten by a snake. Bad ratings, lay- offs.  At this age, we are no longer a child and hence have a huge ego. It is mentally demeaning to accept this fall.  Whether we stay in the game or leave it depends on how we react to such snake bites.

This game has taught me three lessons:

1.      There are quite a few ladders available at the beginning of the game

2.       The higher I go, the chances of stepping on a snake are high.

3.       Closer to the top, there are no ladders. It is a tough grind

Next time I encounter a snake, I hope I have the childlike tenacity to roll the dice... and look at the ladders available. Again to go up, dodge the snake and reach my destination.

My parents had safe jobs. They played Ludo. Today we are playing Snakes and Ladders.