Perceptions make lasting impressions until they are broken.
Growing up in the financial city of Mumbai in the early 80s, the place to work
was South Mumbai. When you qualify as a Chartered Accountant and have dreams of
working in the financial sector then you dream of working in the nerve of the
financial sector in Mumbai which is South Mumbai. This place is home to Reserve
Bank of India, State Bank of India, Bombay Stock Exchange, HSBC, Standard
Chartered Bank, IDBI, Dena Bank, Allahabad Bank, LIC, New India Assurance
Company… in short the who’s who of the financial sector was in South Mumbai.
But Mumbai is an island and will always be constrained by
space. So in the 90s when the financial sector was growing, you had new players
coming in combined with lack of space. Commercial Real Estate prices were at an
all time high. The then Government set up a new financial district in the
Bandra Kurla Complex over what was once a marsh. Instituitions like the
National Stock Exchange, ICICI, UTI, Citibank etc. set up shop there. In the
first decade of the 21st century when outsourcing was taking roots
in this country, international companies wanted offices close to the airport.
Thus areas like Malad and Goregaon developed and became the hub of the
outsourcing industry. And now in the quest for cheaper real estate, Airoli has
also developed as another hub.
So today, even though the financial sector jobs are
available all around the city old timers like me who desperately try to cling
on to nostalgia, still dream about working in South Mumbai. The heritage
buildings, the beautiful movie theatres, the charm of Horniman circle, the
Parsi food joints, Marine drive have a different allure to them. So recently
when I was picking up a new job, the location being South Mumbai was one of the
factors contributing to the decision. Dreams do come true, even if they are 25
years late.
First week into the job and I am still coming to terms with
the travel and hence do not carry my lunch with me. After all the neighbourhood
is a food lovers paradise. Importantly you get a variety of good food at very
reasonable prices. I walk out of office for grabbing a quick sandwich and as I
am walking, I am also thinking about the task on hand in my new job. Suddenly a
gentlemen in his 50’s stops me and shows me a piece of paper. Instinctively I
think that he is asking for directions so I look at that paper.
I am completely taken aback. It is a photocopy of a girl’s
identity card and now mind is completely blank… I wonder what the guy wants.
This gentlemen now says that they are looking for an alliance for his son, and
the prospective daughter in law works in this building. Apparently she comes
home very late, and he wants to know whether they really work so hard.
I am completely dumbstruck by this question. I tell him that
I would not know, nor would anybody be able to help him about such information.
However the question continues to haunt me and remain in my
mind. Why does this gentleman need information about a prospective daughter in
law? Why should he not trust her when she says, she works late? If the proposal
goes through, is suspicion a good foundation to start a relationship? However
before we pass a value judgement on the boy’s family let us understand their
perspective. At this point I would like to make a disclaimer, that I have no
intentions of justifying any actions of any party. I am just trying to
understand their thought processes.
Once upon a time, people used to have a 9 to 5 job and would
be home by 6- 630 depending upon the proximity of the office to the workplace. This
is still prevalent in a lot of public sector organisations and even in quite a
few private sector organisations. So for this gentleman, who probably has a
similar job, working late is slightly alien. Secondly the arranged marriages
work in a funny manner.
A lot of times, when the boy or girl is having a
relationship, which the parents don’t approve, the easiest solution is to fix
up an arranged marriage in the hope that post marriage, the earlier
relationship will die down. Both sides of parents are guilty of this.
To me what is a matter of concern is, how did that gentlemen
get a photocopy of the girl’s identity card? Did the girl’s parents give it?
Did the boy give it? Chances are that the photocopy was acquired in a clandestine
fashion. And this is the thought which troubles me. Is this an invasion of the
girl’s privacy? When one talks about consent from a woman is this a violation
of her consent?
Standing below the mecca of capitalism in the 21st
century, I am rudely reminded, that this is a tale of two countries. There is
an India and there is a Bharat. And Bharat co-exists happily with India. India
is running in the 21st Century with Bullock Carts on the road and
Jet Planes in the sky.
