Responsibility of Freedom

“Sanjay Leela Bhansali slapped on the sets of Padmavati.” This news item flashed across the entire social media over the last weekend of January 2017. This is an act which is definitely condemnable. We cannot allow goondaraj in the name of censorship. The entire film industry and the liberals have come up with tweets showing solidarity with Sanjay Leela Bhansali.

The history we have read says, that Rani Padmini, when she heard that Allauddin Khilji had won the war, led all the royal women to self - immolation to protect their honour. While I am not, an authority of history, I will believe that this story is true. There is a rumour that the movie being filmed distorts history and depicts a love scene between Rani Padmini and Allauddin Khilji.

The tweets and views in the media defending Sanjay Leela Bhansali are interesting. There is a tweet which says that the incident is fictional and just the creation of a poet. A leading newspaper says that “Fictionalised Books or films based loosely on historical characters are a common phenomenon all over the world and artistes must be granted this creative licence.”

I would like to present an alternate view. The film industry, especially Bollywood have a huge influence on people. Stars like Salman Khan, Rajnikant, Aamir Khan, Shahrukh Khan, Amitabh Bachchan have a huge fan following and have a demi god status. Accordingly they also have an impact on society. Any movie, or actions by them are replicated by both children and adults.

Once upon a time, movies were about the triumph of good over evil. Even in the masala potboilers of the 80s and 90s the hero always was a paragon of virtue and won over evil. Gabbar Singh or Mogambo may be lovable characters as villains, but they always lost in the end. The subtle underlying message was good always prevailed. Social issues like mother in laws ill-treating the daughter in law were brought to the fore with a positive message. I am sure Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge ensured quite a few majnus did not elope with their beloveds, but tried wooing the girl’s parents to ensure a happy marriage.

Slowly the narrative changed in the 90s with Darr and Bazigar. The heroes started acquiring shades of grey and were unapologetic about the same. The impact that they had on society is unimaginable. If today there is violence in society, to some extent Bollywood is to blame. Action is glorified in Bollywood movies. This is not to say that there was no violence earlier. But slowly the extent of violence increased.

While I don’t have research to back me up, but children don’t love studies. I don’t know whether it is the fault of the education system, or the teachers or the pedagogy. But the fact is a lot of studies are done to mug the facts and vomit them out during the exams and to be forgotten.

In light of this let us examine the role of movies. It is a medium with a very long reach. Every depiction of an historical character in the movie, is actually an education of masses. The movie makers are expected to conduct sufficient research before coming up with the script. An alternate view, or fictional interpretation of the character, can actually lead to people believing that this view is true, simply because people haven’t read history.

It is with this perspective in mind that the film industry needs to take responsibility. Every action has repercussions. If Sanjay Leela Bhansali has conceptualized a love scene between Allauddin Khilji and Rani Padmini, and has not anticipated negative reactions to the same, I think he is a fool. While I condemn violence, this does not absolve the filmmaker from his responsibility. Any alternate view has to be presented with sensibility and what impact it has on the audience. Shock treatment for commercial gains cannot be the end result of freedom of expression.

Every freedom has to be self-shackled by a sense of responsibility. The creative medium wants freedom, without wanting the responsibility attached to it. It is like a corporate CEO having the authority to spend but not wanting to be accountable for profits to the shareholders. A freedom given to a child about what and when to study or not to study, brings with it a responsibility to pass or score well in the exams. If the child does not pass the exams and does not get a job subsequently, don’t blame it on unfairness of the system. A freedom to dress as you wish does not mean, you go around roaming naked. No sir, freedom comes with great responsibility, and it is time Bollywood starts taking responsibility.

Over the last two years, the NDA Government is being accused of trying to rewrite history because they are rewriting textbooks. Isn’t Bollywood doing the same in the name of creative liberty? 

Taming the Devil

31^st December 2016. A crowd of unruly hooligans molested a whole lot of girls in Bengaluru.

31^st December 2015. A crowd of supposedly Middle Eastern immigrants molested and raped a crowd of revelers in Cologne, Germany by engaging in a game of Taharrush.

Some other party, some other place, some other country, women are molested and raped. The deplorable act is repeated time and again.

I will not even try to lend credence to what some idiots have mentioned, by mentioning their statements and condemning them. I would rather condemn these people and their statements by simply ignoring them.

However one fact has come out very well and that is, there has to be a better way by which we raise our children. There are no two ways about this. Guys need to be sensitized about what is correct and what is not correct right from a very early age. And that early age begins at say 2 years or even earlier.

I know of a 5 year boy, who is taught to discriminate between boys and girls. He will not dance to a certain song, saying that this is a ‘girl’ song.  He will not wear clothes of a certain colour because it is a ‘girl’ colour. And this is being taught to him by either his parents or grandparents. He is being conditioned that it is not right to lose to girls. I am sure his outlook towards girls when he grows up will be interesting. By the way his parents are very well educated.

It is very easy to deplore an act like this and say that our boys need to be taught the right values. I myself have a son and take ownership to teach him the right values. What is the solution and how do we go about making this change? What I am going to write now is going to be extremely controversial.

We also need to change the way in which be bring up our daughters. Before all you women stop reading and start cursing me, let me tell you I am not going to write about curbing the women’s freedom or talking about what they wear or what they drink. This is a piece of advice to their parents. A lot of people in cities, or people who are reading this may not be able to associate with this.

When we bring up our children, especially girls, we tell them not to talk to boys. How many girls have guys as friends? And I am not talking about boy-friends, but just simple friends? If a college going girl goes out for a coffee with a boy, eyebrows get raised. Get real guys, it is just a coffee nothing else. If a girl mentions the name of a guy in her list of friends, the mother gets worried and does not encourage her going out with the guy. Thus when the children are growing up, the interaction with the other gender is limited.

You have a gang of guys hanging out separately and a gang of girls hanging out separately. The gang of guys, because they have very limited or negligible interaction with girls while their hormones are growing up, is an absolute recipe for disaster. Most of these boys will get into an arranged marriage and are extremely awkward when they are faced with a girl. They don’t even know how to talk to one. These guys then look at the girls only from one perspective, not as friends but as objects of desire.

As a society we are hypocritical. We as parents will choose the boy or girl of their choice for arranged marriages. The arranged marriage process is one where the boy meets girl once or twice. Before they can meet further, there is pressure to ‘at least get engaged’. Why? Because it supposedly harms the girl’s ‘character’. Think of the girl, parents, she is going to say yes to the guy based only on one or two meetings when he is possibly at his best behavior? The true colours are discovered only after marriage. Arranged marriages are a lottery (#1: I have a happy arranged marriage. #2 : Even love marriages are a lottery, but more about that topic in some other post).

Once you are engaged, there is pressure to get married fast. And god forbid if the marriage is to be called off after the engagement and before the marriage. One talks of family honour and all that shit, without thinking of the girl.

So we are ensuring the girl actually gets into bed with a stranger before getting comfortable with him. I personally believe that in most arranged marriages, ‘the first night’ is nothing but marital rape cheered on by family and friends in absentia. What about walking out after the marriage? Unthinkable.

So basically it is fine to continue in a marriage where the girl may be unhappy, but not to disturb the family honour. A lot of the above is justified in the name of ‘culture’. People also say that high divorce rates are a result of western culture. I believe that a high divorce rate is simply because the girl wants to assert herself (nothing wrong with that) and is not acceptable to a society washed in ‘culture’ believing that the girl should serve and be under the thumb of ‘Pati Parmeshwar’ who is not necessarily a paragon of virtue.

There are a lot of wrong things which are passed of under the name of culture.

While there is a responsibility for parents of boys, there is also a huge responsibility for parents of girls. It is time parents of girls stop treating boys as devils. If not, chances are that boys will believe that they are devils and convert into devils.

It is time to start taming the devil.